Kindness drives Connection
I'm sure you’ve heard it all before..
Just Be Kind.
Kindness makes the world go round but before you scroll past or get distracted by something else, this blog may change thousands of lives this week just by YOU reading this.
Being kind isn't just buying a coffee for someone or paying it forward, it's a way of life that FEELS GOOD.
Something I always say is that people never remember the words you say but always remember the way you make them feel. Those feelings are generated in the person delivering and receiving, and by natural law the receiver then gives to someone else.
For example, I love a Starbucks Americano with an extra shot and cold milk, it makes me happy and there's always something exciting about waiting for that coffee. And I can tell how the staff are feeling just by the taste of the coffee. If I'm out for a meal I can tell how happy the kitchen is just by the taste and look of my food. When people love what they do, that energy infuses into everything they touch. Being in a happy state of mind actually generates kindness, consideration, and mutual respect. As I discussed in my Just Be Kind blog we can change our state just by intending it. YOU are responsible for how you show up.
Think about that for a second and read that last paragraph again
Back to the coffee - when I'm at the drive through in Starbucks, I get to the window to pay and ask the server if I can pay for the person behind my order. The team member says yeah sure and I think no more of it, I'm always happy I've been able to help someone by being kind. Little did I know what the effect of what I was doing was having. The server in Starbucks told me that whenever I did this, it would go on and on all morning - 10, 20, 30 cars later until the chain reaction stopped. 2 people on average in every car that was 60 people in a day that felt the effect of my simple act. So then what's potentially happening beyond that as a result? Those 60 people go away and only 30 of them do something kind for someone else? That's then 90 people affected by kind acts from buying coffees to helping people out with simple things. In 5 days I have potentially been responsible for infusing kindness into 450 lives, 1800 a month and 21,600 a year. Who says being kind doesn't have any effect on people?
Being kind creates CONNECTION, human beings need social connections and this is essential to nearly every aspect of human health and wellbeing. Lack of connection has been linked to inflammation, accelerated aging, and cardiovascular health as well as suicide and many other health risks. We live such busy lives that when someone does something kind it stops us in our tracks and forces connection. What a wonderful thing indeed to see someone stop and be so shocked by such a simple thing.
Our business is built on kindness, when a stranger returns as a friend and each time we connect with someone, we create an environment of kindness and connection. People remember how we make them feel and the team remember how they make each other feel. This isn't a secret recipe, it's not something that is difficult to do, it's the simplest thing with the biggest result.
It doesn't stop there though, being kind online and commenting kind words on photos, responding kindly to other people's words etc has a profound effect. I speak to so many people who are terrified to say how they feel or share their views online because they are scared of comments. I know that in the past when people have said unkind things to me online it has really hurt me. My granny always said ‘if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all’ and it's very true! Your words can create or destroy and you cannot take the written word back! For me, being kind online is very important indeed. Just like helping all those people with acts of kindness, words of negativity can destroy people. Using the same formula as above (buying coffees for the person behind) imagine how many people you could be responsible for hurting as the receiver becomes the giver.
My top 5 random acts of kindness you can use today are:
Buy a coffee for a stranger
Say a warm hello to every person you walk past in the street with a smile (you force connection) people will only respond well.
Call someone you haven't spoken to for ages. Yes that's right PHONE them. No text messages and tell them that you just wanted to tell them how much you care about them. (I promise you'll make their day).
Give someone a genuine compliment e.g. you look really happy today.
Say thank you and give a reason why (I often say to the person at the checkout ‘thank you for being so friendly today, have a lovely day’).
All of the above I do every single day and what happens is that it drives connections. I know shop workers by name, people want to talk to me, but I've yet to experience someone buying me a coffee in Starbucks though!
So go out there folks and change the world with the INVISIBLE force that is kindness, it's not spoken about but people FEEL IT.
P.S. Let me know on our Facebook and Instagram if you have received a random act of kindness - how did it make YOU feel??
Peace out and keep smiling.
Steven X
